Grad School Math

I take that back. I don't think I have the grad school blues. School is actually the easiest way to feel successful right now. It is unbelieveably easy. I barely study. I get good grades. I wrote 4 papers in 4 weeks, and then just showed up to present. The only thing that mattered was whether I cited peer-reviewed journals, and for the most part, I did.

I am surrounded by students who have easier lives. They have a short commute to school and home. They get off at 3-4 p.m. in the afternoon and then they go home to refresh themselves before coming to school. I commute 3 hours a day - on non-school days. I don't want to think about how much time I spend in a car on schooldays.

I work 8-12 hours a day and I still feel that I am drowining in the deep water. And then I contemplate trying to take 2 classes next semester and trying to add a 4 hours of studying every night to that schedule, with more on the weekends. Everyday, I wake up and think about how I'm going to finish and everyday it's the one question I can't answer. To be fair, next semester I'm taking an online class and a Saturday class, but I'll still need to actually study, unlike this semester. I also know I'll need to take at least 2 more semesters of 2 classes to gradute in the next 1.5-2 years. I try to balance and accommodate eveyone else's needs and then I wonder how I'm ever going to meet my own.

Let's do the grad school math:

10 hours work - and I still feel as though I'm drowning
3 hours commute on a non-school day. 4.5 hours on a school day.
3-4 hours of studying each night for 2 classes. No weekend work despite the work buildup!!
2 hours get up and care for son
1 hour eat/talk to spouse
= 19-20 hour day

Grad School Blues

I always compare grad school to running a marathon. Right now I'm at the half-marathon mark. Halfway through. The point where it doesn't get any easier--and there's still 13.1 more miles to go. It will be a long, slow journey. This year, I've committed to taking just one class so that I wouldn't be so busy during my youngest child's last year of high school. And then there's the new job, which doesn't leave as much time for going to school.

I finally got an idea for an area that I would like to explore, if I were taking an independent study. I developed a research question from reading the textbook before class started, which I scribbled on an envelope. This is my last elective, and I'd been eagerly anticipating it since I registered last spring. Given the subject matter, I envisioned learning about best practices in developing marketing messages. I visualized an interactive assignment around personal selling.

But all the hope, dreams, and excitement were crushed when I read the syllabus. The entire class revolves around writing 4 papers (just one more than the undergrad students taking the class), and completing a group assignment. The topic is interesting--but the syllabus completely uninspiring. It's only the first class and I'm already making plans to work ahead so that I can get this class over with. I've got the grad school blues. And I'm piled higher and deeper.

So Much Change

My entire multisport life has been a complete wash. In the past, I've been able to get back to multisport during the summer and use the time away from grad school to get back into shape. But this year, I've been swept away with a busy new job, grad school, and then a work-related summer conference. I signed up for three races - two before I took the position - and I think I'm going to forego all of them.

There have been some highlights. My husband and I and our youngest son took a weekend trip to Snow Hill, Maryland. The highlight was cycling from Snow Hill to Berlin. It was 50 miles roundtrip, but for the most part, the miles were easy because the terrain was flat. We followed parts of the Seagull Century route, which made me want to do the Seagull Century. The only difficult part was heading back at the end of the day when we were tired and facing a strong headwind.

Our kid and a friend cycled to Ocean City, accompanyed by a girl who asked if they needed "a partner in crime." She was an experienced cyclist who took a water pack and had clipless pedals, so I though she was a good match. Their journey was longer, and they also faced the headwind. It was an awesome, enjoyable trip--something that I put together at the spur of the moment, and thoroughly enjoyed. Sometimes the weekend trips are the best.

For the most part, I spent the summer trying to get back into running, but never quite doing it. I'd eat an ice cream cone and read the latest issue of Runners World. But I'm still trying to get back into running, and I hope to succeed, even as the school year begins. I have no vision of racing....right now. I simply want to stay in shape, enjoy the stress relief, and get some semblance of worklife balance. I actually feel grumpy if I can't get a bike ride in during the weekend. And there's never a time when I see a cyclist pass me in D.C. that I don't wish that I was riding my bike. This effect is only intensified when I see someone riding clipless.

It doesn't help that my husband has an ankle injury. He's been to an othopod, PT and had xrays and an MRI. But he's still experiencing pain and injury that affect his everyday life. We have another appointment coming up, and I'm crossing my fingers that we'll get some better answers.