A Perfect Downfall

I'm a perfectionist by nature. I want to be perfect in everything I do, and so I tend to overdo things. And true to form, I approach running the same way. I ran and increased my mileage...and then I overdid it. When I look back, I did everything wrong: I ran too many hills and ran on too many banked roads, increased mileage too fast and too soon, and ran too many days of the week with no cross-training or strength training.

Now I'm injured. My right knee aches and so does my achilles tendon. Of course it's always the right leg. At first I tried to crosstrain by swimming, but that seemed to aggravate the injury rather than help it. My bicycle seems to be calling out to me from the garage for cross training, but that never worked out well before because it only aggravated my achilles, so I'm wondering why I have this particular urge. Over the years, I've learned to pay attention to my urges because they lead to some nice things. So, I got a new bike seat that's softer and may be more easy to adapt to.

So, I've retreated to my couch and computer, surfing the net and trying to find the cure, wondering when this is going to go away. I feel so stupid. And restless. And worried. I'm planning to take two weeks off. Then I want to get on my half-marathon training plan and I'm fervently hoping that I can get through this without injury. I blame it on the stupidity for running that last long run...but I'm hoping I'll reach that distance once again, and this time I'll be able to run strong. I hope that I'll be able to learn how to train sensibly.

The good news is that while my running is languishing, my CAE studying is pickiing up!

Running Through Summer

Now summer's here and the weather is really beginning to get hot. I added another run to my mid-week repetoire so that I'm running about 3 miles x 3 days a week. However, I can seldom have a "perfect week." Sometimes life just gets in the way of running and I wind up skipping a workout. If I do workout, then one run is usually very easy, with many walk breaks. I'm also back to increasing my long runs on the weekend. Last week I did 7 miles, and this week I did 8 miles--a record for me!!!!! My running schedule happened to coincide with my church's Run/Walk for Tanzania, which gave me some friendly people to run with at the park where I typically run. It was a real treat to run with other people. I went 4 laps around the lake. There are two duck families and it's been fun to watch the baby ducks grow up week by week as I jog around the park. It takes me about 1.5 hours to run 7-8 miles, and my husband got me a fuel belt, which I'm sure will come in handy.

I've been wanting to get back to my CAE studying and really put some serious time into this effort. But life keeps happeing. There's a board committee project that was more time-consuming than anticipated. The need to prep for an IEP meeting. My advocate quitting. Getting behind at work. A difficult author. Traveling for the holidays. Kids sports and tutor. It seem like I have less and less time for everything. I used to take classes at my local community college in preparation for a master's degree. Now, I can't figure out how I did it all. Maybe it was because I slept less. I remember during one summer class, I was more tired and fell asleep at every boring meeting and at church on Sunday. Maybe it was sheer determination. Where did the time and motivation go? The only fortuitious thing was that I planned out a study guide that called for spending 3 weeks on each area of focus. After all the distraction, I'm still on schedule. I haven't taken notes on all the chapters, as I wanted, but perhaps I can read everything once over before fall. Maybe I can put the piece into place again as I run through summer and the warm weeks fly by.

Sring is Here

Ran 4 miles today around Lake Elkhorn. Spring has finally come to Maryland and the ducks have fuzzy green babies. One duck family has three and another duck family has six babies. There's also an area of the lake near the bridge that is home to a lot of turtles!

I ran the first lap around the park very slowly with my husband. He always says he's going to take up running, but only does it on the weekend and wonders why he's not in shape.

I haven't been running a lot lately, prior to the Future Leaders conference this weekend. Everybody around me was sick: my kid was sick, my co-worker was sick, and my boss was sick. I just wanted to rest up before the conference and not get sick, as traveling when you're sick is misery. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back on schedule and buildup again...

Clyde's 10K

I almost didn't run this race. The temperatures were in the low 40s and it was pouring rain the whole time. I hate rain. It's one of my least favorite weather conditions, and I've never even run in the rain before. I did all my pre-race preparations and then decided to go and sit in my car in the parking lot, and then make a decision about heading to the starting line. I decided to wear my capris shortly before leaving the house, as I didn't want to look unseasonal. But I decided to bring along my tights, just in case. As I sat in the car I could see many runners in tights, and I make a last-minute decision to put on my tights in the car. Nobody saw that, right?! It was the best decision I made. The tights saved the day! They kept my leg muscles warm and I didn't even feel the rain. I love my tights.

But the rain came pouring down. And when it did, I just closed my eyes and turned inward. After a desultory start, I actually began to wake up as the race went on. Three miles went by easily. I paced myself by a woman and her daughters that were running together, but there were two hills in the race, which were actually long inclines, and I lost speed as my pacers gained ground. After mile five, I couldn't believe that the race was coming to an end, and I tried to pick up the pace as I got to the finish line. I caught up to my pacers and tried to pass, but then my CI fell off and I had to stop and mess with it. I'll have to get an earmold made so this doesn't happen again. I came in strong for a finish in 1:08:26.30, which was OK. But most of all, I made it through the 10K easily and I discovered that I like this distance.

It wasn't until afterward that I really felt the effects of the rain and the cold as I began shivering. I never realized that my husband had been at the finish line cheering me on until he caught up with me at the restaurant that sponsored the race. It was really sweet of him to come out to see me on such a miserable day.

I finally jump-started my CAE studying by approaching it like a training plan for the half-marathon. Using the state association study guide as a template, I made up a plan for the next 21 weeks, outlining the number of weeks I'd spend on each of 10 domains. I'm gaining ground on each of two goals.

Christmas in April

Global warming is here. We had snow in April!!!! The grass is green, the daffodils are blooming, the trees are budding...and the temperature dropped into the 20s overnight and it snowed! I went out for my Saturday morning long run, and by the time I finished, it melted. I ran in Centennial park, which is becoming one of my favorite places to run because it has a longer 2.4 mile path that circles the park. There are a lot of red winged black birds and red birds that may be summer tanagers. All of the birds, ducks, and rabbits are very tame.

I Need a Muse

I titled my blog "My Muse" because I so often need a muse, which is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as "a source of inspriation...a guiding genius...and any of the nine sister goddesses in Greek mythology presiding over song and poetry and arts and sciences."

I just feel stressed these days. There's only 24 hours in a weekend, and never enough time to get everything done. I need a muse to help me write. I need a muse to help me tackle the incredible amount of busywork and paperwork that life involves.

I'm finding it difficul to make the transition from the treadmill in the morning to running outdoors in the afternoon when my kid is at sports or tutor because so many things can happen that will take away the time I planned to run. While I really enjoyed increasing my long runs, I felt like a "weekend warrier" because I was sore for a day or two afterward. On the treadmill, I tend to walk-run, but outdoors, I tend to want to run most of the way, so that's an increase in intensity. My new goal is to add an additional mid-week workouit and slowly build up my mid-week mileage to 9-10 miles over time. Later, I'll put it all together and then once again increasing my long runs.

I'm in a slump with my CAE studying ever since I finished the online course early and then promptly burned out. I need to set up a plan for steady reading and studying, similar to the way I've done for my running buildup. I feel like I don't want this bad enough to study consistently.

I need a muse to give me inspiration in life.

The Birds Outside the Window

I wasn't going to post about my cochlear implant, but it's part of my experience. I've had the CI for four years now, which makes me an "old timer," but even so, I still have some CI moments. Here are some I'd like to share....

Sometimes at work I hear new sounds, either because of processor reprogramming or serendipity. At work, my cube is several feet from a window, and this spring I've begun to hear the birds outside, which I don't remember hearing before in the nine years I've work for this organization. I couldn't believe I was hearing the soft, high-pitched sound of birdcall from inside the building.

I like to ask co-workers about new sounds that I'm hearing, but I've learned to be careful because sometimes they think I'm crazy. After all, how would you feel if a fourtysomething person came up to you and asked about the sound of birds, which you've taken for granted your whole life? People don't realize that having a CI is an ongoing experience that brings new discoveries, even four years later. But this time I picked a safe person to ask, and she responded to my questions with an e-mail describing when and why one might hear birds.

The same thing happened at my home. I heard a low-pitched noise while sitting at the kitchen table that I hadn't noticed before and turned to ask my kid. It turns out that the ice maker periodically makes ice.

Even though I rarely talk about the cochlear implant with others anymore, it's something I always enjoy -- and never take for granted. No matter how difficult the listening situation, I'm always able to keep my spirits up and see it positively because I know how poorly I would have performed in that same situation without the implant. And there isn't ever a time when I come out of a movie theater that I'm not grateful to have this.