Another Countdown

Kyrie Eleison
Down the road that I must travel
Kyrie Eleison
Through the darkness of the night
Kyrie Eleison
Where I'm going will you follow

--Mr. Mister

I'm knocking off domain after domain as I count down the weeks until the CAE exam on Dec. 7. I'm a little burned out on studying, which is one of my latest challenges. My study group is one of the things that keeps me going. The actual group meeting is simply a review for me as I get an outline of a domain I've already studied. I also know from talking to other people that I've done far more studying than most, being the perfectionistic individual that I am. But then again, I can't imagine just getting started in studying for this test with the sheer amount of specific information that must be kept in mind.

Things are getting a little crazy. I have an IEP meeting coming up for one kid, and the other decided he wants to join the Marines. We're a passionately anti-war family and we're hoping that he doesn't just go down to the recruiter's office and enlists the day he turns 18. My other hobby is completing college applications in hopes that he actually goes to college.

My exercise life has been practically non-existent. I haven't run regularly since the end of September. Then I took a week off from all exercise before and after the race. Now I'm having a hard time getting going again. For the first time since I started running 1.5 years ago, I've contemplated quitting. I took so much time off that I feel like my base is gone, which is discouraging. My PT said that I could do "two miles" and I didn't bother to ask whether that was each time or once a week. Part of me feels like going out on a run to see the leaves turning colors as the season changes. Another part of me feels like curling up on my couch with a twinkie, soda ... and my books. I want the stress relief and the endorphins, but I'm frustrated with my leg aching and having to start over again.

I'm having a hard time explaining to my co-workers what I've been doing during the weekend after they talk about their social events. I usually spend most of my weekends with my nose in a book. At heart, I am a book nerd who thinks that the printed word can tell us everything about the world. Perhaps I should say that I spend a lot of time with my buddies (the Association Law Handbook and Professional Practices in Association Management, not to mention a few others) and I had some fast times (flipping note cards to review key terms and topics), then during a pensive moment, I did some writing (to take notes). I'm even thinking of this as trying on the life of an adult grad student.

And then there are my nefarious distractions. I've discovered that YouTube has all of my favorite '80s videos. I grew up with beginning of MTV, but this is better than that! I can watch my favorite video anytime, without waiting for it to come on, and I can play it five times in a row!! It's amusing to see another generation figure out the Kyrie Eleison means "Lord, have mercy" and it's spoken three times during the Catholic mass, as Richard Page does at the beginning of the song.

Baltimore 5K

I really wanted to be in Baltimore on Oct. 13 and I couldn't believe how excited my husband and I were about the race. I love the feel, the excitement, and the crowds in a big-city race. The weather was perfect. It was warmer than last year, about 47 degrees which was cool, but not cold.

We almost didn't make it. My logistics called for leaving the house at 7 a.m. for a half-hour drive into Baltimore with 15 minutes to park and walk to the starting line. This would give us 45 minutes before the start of the race to stretch, go to the bathroom, and watch the marathoners take off. But hubby decided to take a different road into Baltimore, and this cost us a stress-filled and argumentative 30+ minutes. The roads were closing and cars formed a single file line which snaked slowly into the stadium parking area which was filled to capacity. I honestly thought we'd never get to the starting line at all. But in the nick of time we found a parking spot and sprinted over to the starting line with just 10 minutes to spare. We swear we'll leave the house earlier next year and watch our stress management!

And we took off. Both of us found it easier this year now that we knew the course and what to expect. The Baltimore course is known for its hills, and the 5K race heads uphill for the first mile or so. I tried to think of it as a long incline, which I prefer to steep hills. I hit mile 1 at 12 minutes, as I did last year. Then the rest of the course went downhill, and I was able to speed up. I felt pretty good, considering that I hadn't run at all for several weeks since the injury and I took the last week off completely to rest a sore muscle on the side of my leg. As I was heading toward the finish line I got a right side stitch, so I tried to deal with it. The biggest hazard on the course was potholes and sewer covers and I nearly turned my ankle on one, but then a running angel caught my elbow and asked if I was OK. I replied that I was, but never said thank you. Thank you!

I came in at 31:40 -- a personal record for me!! It was a really great day and I was happy to be there and happy to be in the running.

My goal now is base, base, base!!!! I need a stronger base and a higher level of fitness to get to the next step.

Dreaming Big Dreams

It was a very experiential season that came, and went, and never really got off the ground. I didn't do many shorter races this year, preferring to focus on the half-marathon, and I deferred that because of the knee injury due to osteoarthritis, a byproduct of a car accident a decade ago. I was most surprised to learn that I didn't do anything wrong in my training that might have caused the injury. My biggest mistake may have been not taking enough time off to recuperate from the first injury before starting the HM plan. So much for self-castigation and flagellation! But I do believe now that there is value in keeping a training log and recording all injuries -- and developing a rating system that will note whether this was a small ache versus real pain. It's up to you to do your own research and analysis and present that information in the process of trying to determine what went wrong.

I tend to think that if I do all of the right things, everything will turn out right. I followed the training plan closely and tried to do everything to keep injury at bay. But sometimes things just happen for no reason. Or, maybe we don't understand the reason at the time.

So...as I take a break from running for a while to rest and recuperate, I'm trying to turn greater attention to other things. I find myself dreaming big dreams -- for next season. This comforts and inspires me. And I do want another season, and that is my motivation.

Week 11: Crash and Burn

I made an appointment with my sports doc after my knee hurt in the swimming pool, which was too freaky for me. Then I went on a great recovery weekend run and a Tuesday morning 60 min. run and felt fine. So, I canceled the appointment.

On Thursday, I got on the treadmill and my knee hurt, so I began to experiment with solutions. I tried a longer warmup. Wearing my knee strap, then taking it off. Finally, 40 minutes later, I gave up. And then I couldn't go up and down the stairs or get up from a sitting position without knee pain. I knew I was in trouble. I've been limping around ever since and walking up the stairs with one foot. I'm back on my sports doc's calendar in two weeks.

I don't know whether to cry or scream. I spent months preparing for the half-marathon and now I don't know if it's in my future. I can't help but feeling that I'm being smited. Every time I run 8 miles, I get injured. I can't understand what I did wrong and why this happened.

What I do know is that I'll be cross-training until I can see the doctor, and then I'll make a decision about the race and any future sports participation. But it's hard to keep it from my thoughts as I move from sadness to frustration to self-castigation and maybe finally to acceptance. The endorphins will come in handy! I am so glad that this is a busy time of year and that I have the CAE pursuit, family, and work to take my mind off of this.

Week 10: Keep on Going

Due to time constraints and declining daylight, I finally took my training indoors to the pre-dawn hours. Don't even ask me how early I'm working out. And looking at my basement insulation for an hour is really interesting. This is going to take a lot of discipline - and a second cup of coffee for the drive to work. It's also strange because in the afternoon while driving my kid to soccer or tutor, I look at the runners and cyclists going by and think about running. Then I realize that I already did my run.

The highlight of my week was going to the local aquatics center for a Friday morning swim workout. I figure I can come in a little later on Fridays because typically I put in more hours earlier in the week, and I always wind up staying later to wrap up the week. After a search of local indoor pools, I found a pool where the water is warm and the membership is cheap!!! There's an open lane, a nice hot tub, and a swim suit dryer. What more could I want?

Otherwise, things are going along. Work is so so. I fall asleep while reading. I got the answer wrong on this week's scenario question. My knees hurt in the swimming pool!!!?? I wake up with a sore throat. I feel like I lack discipline half the time. Just keep on going. And keep on going. Because then when an easy 6 mile run comes along on a perfect early fall day ... or my kid gets in a chatty mood and decides to tell me everything about his day ... I can enjoy it even more.

Week 9: Facing Fears

It's getting darker earlier and it's difficult get in a run unless I can out there around 6:30 p.m., which is challenging because I run on the days my kid has tutor. Even though I say I'm going to use the treadmill, I haven't done so yet. I hate the thought of spending so many months training on the treadmill...but I also hate running in the dark.

My knees began to ache after Thursday's run. I had a long run of 8 miles scheduled on Saturday and I was almost afraid to run. I seriously contemplated taking the day as a cycle or rest day. Then, I decided to jog a bit in front of my house, just to see how my legs felt. Convinced that they felt alright, I went to the park. I did the IronGirl route x2 running slow and taking a lot of walk breaks, especially in the first few miles around the first lap, just as the experts suggest. I even took some stretching breaks. Once I warmed up, I began to feel OK and my pace picked up. Toward the end, felt tired and my joints felt tired. I topped it all off with a cold water bath. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.

On Sunday, I went for a short bike ride because the outdoor pools closed, and I have no access to the pool for now. It was a really nice, perfect ride on a late-summer morning and the traffic was really light. My new bike shorts feel really comfy! But later, my joints and achilles tendon just felt sore, particularly after sitting down. It's as if my body starts to lock up when I sit down and don't move. It could be that my body just isn't used to the mileage. But when I feel like this, I start to seriously doubt whether I'll make it to the starting line.

This week I've been struggling with a particularly difficult domain on planning, evaluation and research, and I've been having a hard time putting all of the information together and wrapping my mind around it. Sometimes, the vocabulary seems to be used in different ways.

At the beginning of the online class, I made a graphic organizer using the Inspiration program that contains my affirmations, as suggested. Now, as the going gets tough, I'm learning the importance of affirmations.

Week 8: Slacking Off

This week called for:
50 minutes run-easy
40 minutes cycle
50 minutes run-form
4 mile long run
30 minutes swim

It's on of my last recovery weeks before the program peaks and I've been really taking it easy with everything. I ran super slow and cycled lazily. None of my runs were stupendous. During one run, I forgot my knee supporter and hoped that I wouldn't re-injure myself. During the other I couldn't seem to get going...and the day before the long run I ate sushi and for some reason it didn't sit right, which is anomaly for me, and I had stomach cramps for the entire morning.

The week ended with a mediocre 30-minute swim that I cut short when my knee felt funny. Then, I stubbed my pinky toe on something that my kid didn't pick up in his room and bruised my toe. Ouch.

The nicest part of the week was cycling. I decided to head down to my favorite park and cycle down the paved pathway. Definitely a must-do route. Later that week, I decided to return to that trail to enjoy the holiday. It was a fun ride and I had a nice endorphin high the rest of the day.

Being on a training program has its advantages and disadvantages as I tend to get a little obsessed with minutes and miles and doing everything according to plan. I'm getting a little nervous and wondering whether I can really make it through to race day as the program peaks. I just hope my body holds together. The half-marathon is on a very hilly course and just looking at the elevation map is making me nervous. Luckily, the 10 miler falls on the day of a supported course run, so if all goes well it will settle my nerves. I was concerned about the amount of time all of the training was taking, especially with everything else going on, but I realized it's not going to be too much more than what I'm doing now.