I finally did it. I went back to the swim team.
I got injured last fall and got busy with grad school and decided to take time off. But the stress of school and lack of sports did me in. All fall, I looked out the window and thought about the leavees turning color on my favorite trail. Then I'd munch on a bag of chips while completing a paper.
At the end of the semester after a long layoff and the addition of a few pounds, I tried to get back into my exercise routine around December and January. I thought about returning to the swim team. I'd pack up my swim bag and put my contact lenses in and tell myself that this was the night I'd return. But then I thought about how slow I'd swim and how humiliated I'd be with my complete lack of fitness, and I just couldn't do it.
I got involved in the biggest loser program at work, met my goal of losing a few pounds, and aced another grad class. I'm now at my "race weight," but still without a fitness base. I've had time to accept reality.
Going back was just as I envisioned. I walked up to the slowest lane, got in, and warmed up. I then realized that I couldn't swim more 100 yards without tiring. I couldn't swim more than 200 yards without a foot cramp. Well, at least my arms are still functional and I did most of the workout with a pull bouy. I called it quits 45 minutes later after trying to kick again and getting more foot cramps. I probably did less than 900 yards.
The one good thing was that everyone was nice and welcoming, regardless of my complete and total lack of fitness.
What are my goals? I don't have any. It feels really weird, but I have no big athletic goals. No race lineup. I signed my husband up for his second marathon, but I knew I'd never have time to train for a marathon, so I didn't sign myself up. Hubby ran a 10K, I stayed home and did homework.
My only goal is to find a new balance between work, grad school, family, and fitness (not necessarily in that order!). And this juggling act may be my biggest challenge yet. I know I'll have to scale down my athletic goals. Maybe I can rebuild a base. And then maybe I can dream.
