I take that back. I don't think I have the grad school blues. School is actually the easiest way to feel successful right now. It is unbelieveably easy. I barely study. I get good grades. I wrote 4 papers in 4 weeks, and then just showed up to present. The only thing that mattered was whether I cited peer-reviewed journals, and for the most part, I did.
I am surrounded by students who have easier lives. They have a short commute to school and home. They get off at 3-4 p.m. in the afternoon and then they go home to refresh themselves before coming to school. I commute 3 hours a day - on non-school days. I don't want to think about how much time I spend in a car on schooldays.
I work 8-12 hours a day and I still feel that I am drowining in the deep water. And then I contemplate trying to take 2 classes next semester and trying to add a 4 hours of studying every night to that schedule, with more on the weekends. Everyday, I wake up and think about how I'm going to finish and everyday it's the one question I can't answer. To be fair, next semester I'm taking an online class and a Saturday class, but I'll still need to actually study, unlike this semester. I also know I'll need to take at least 2 more semesters of 2 classes to gradute in the next 1.5-2 years. I try to balance and accommodate eveyone else's needs and then I wonder how I'm ever going to meet my own.
Let's do the grad school math:
10 hours work - and I still feel as though I'm drowning
3 hours commute on a non-school day. 4.5 hours on a school day.
3-4 hours of studying each night for 2 classes. No weekend work despite the work buildup!!
2 hours get up and care for son
1 hour eat/talk to spouse
= 19-20 hour day
